Somehow thinking of Naughty by Nature puts a smile on my face despite tackling this tough subject. So EDD: Estimated Due Date. Those of us who unfortunately find ourselves in the loss community are all too familiar with these three little letters that loom over our heads from the date of our losses to the actual day itself until….well forever really. In two days marks my EDD of my most recent loss.
My first EDD happened to coincide with Thanksgiving, shortly after. Usually it’s the days ahead that hurt the most rather than the day itself. My next EDD happened right smack in the middle of my birthday and wedding anniversary, the month of love: February. This one stung a lot because pretty much everyone I knew in the small town where I live was also pregnant and due right around the same time. I went into hiding for a bit, took a much needed Facebook break and hiked and spent quality time with my little family (I may have also consumed a bag or two thousand of m&m’s….). I finally came back out of hiding only to run into someone who knew of my loss, never mentioned her own pregnancy and I was greeted smack dab in the face with a big ole bellah. I did, however receive a ton of support from friends, family and aquaintences. Those emails, phones calls,cards and messages meant the world, so thank you again. Of course you want everyone to experience a healthy happy pregnancies, I wouldnt wish a loss on my worse enemy but somethings that may drive us loss mamas crazy are: silence (a little goes a long way in way of support for example: I’m sorry for your loss), complaining constantly about your healthy pregnancy, or after birth about anything and everything baby related. There are so many people that would saw off a limb to be in your position.
And what TO do: Well this EDD was August 9, one of my oldest and best friends is due very very close to this day. How fun that could of been. I’m not going to lie, initially it was tough but this friend was supportive throughout my loss and healing, was appreciative of her pregnancy despite working a full time high stress job. She always checked in on me, even as the date approaches despite her excitement for her own pregnancy. So thank you friend, and I am so thrilled for you and your family. I cannot wait to see your little babe and when I could home to meet him.