Not what we expected…..

July 3, 2014…the day we finally got answers “the lyme test is both CDC and Igenex positive”. So how did I get here, to this?

Back in 2011, after almost two years of marriage (we spent a good portion of that apart thanks to deployments and trainings) we found out that we were pregnant. We had always wanted a family, well to add to it since at the time we had only our larger than life labrador Chester. We were so excited. That excitement quickly turned to despair at the first u/s when the doctor told me “your baby’s heart beat is too faint, it doesn’t look good”. I’ll never forgot being brought into the BAD NEWS room, holding onto my tears until I could run to my car, call my husband and just lose it. We lost that pregnancy at 10 weeks. But I recovered, learned that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, I had hope.

The following year while I was a teaching assistant at an amazing Catholic School one of the lovely Kindergartners came up to me “Mrs Myette are you pregnant”, I remember laughing and mentally taking a note to never wear that skirt again. A couple of weeks later I found out I was indeed pregnant. Of course we were very nervous but it was a mostly smooth pregnancy and we celebrated every milestone. After our anatomy scan a stop for some ice cream. Sparkling juice just anything, so so happy. Flash forward to March 2012. My husband was due in California for training (we were in NC at the time) Stress ensued. I had this weird feeling my little one would be early. I was due June 12 and he was due home in May. It was a Sunday and I just felt that my little guy wasn’t moving around much. I called the doctor oncall doc and he told me to come immediately. I grabbed a cup of frozen grapes left the back door unlocked in case someone needed to take care of the pups and headed the hour drive to my hospital.  A quick exam and a blood test and I was admitted to L&D. This can’t be happening, I’m not even 33 weeks pregnant, this is my rainbow baby damn it. My husband is 3000 miles away, just no. Still I hung onto hope that I would just be on bedrest. While hooked up to monitors they discovered I was having contractions and during those my boy was losing his heartbeat, it was deceling. I met with NICU, MFM, OB’s who had me on all fours (thank God for yoga training) and in crazy positions. Still it kept happening. So a quick flight across the country for my mom and husband and that Tuesday via an emergency c section Ryan was born screaming into the world. After 11 days in the NICU Ryan William was perfectly healthy. No one could figure out why he came into the world so early and why his heart was doing that…….

July 2013, after almost a year in the desert, with flare ups of sinus infections. Exhaustion. I found out I was pregnant.  A quick trip to the ER for some spotting and I got the shock of my life TWINSSSS. I could not believe it. We would have 3 under 3. I met with a Dr. S who did HCG counts. They were perfect. My first u/s not so much. Slow heartbeats, again…..a few weeks of limbo and I get the call from Dr. S that I would be adding two more angels to Heaven. I asked her if I could go in right away for the D&C and she said I needed to fill out paper work, she was going on vacation, I had to wait. So the next week I met with Dr. P. Surgery appeared to go well and I went home to rest. A few days later I started shaking with the worse chills of my life, I woke up at 5am and temp was up to 104. Turns out first surgery did not go well, either because I had to wait or because they didn’t get everything the first time. Dr. L (thank God for her did my emergency surgery with an u/S) she told me I was septic and if I hadn’t gotten in when I did…well she doesn’t know…..

December 2014 I found out I was expecting yet again. A Christmas miracle, surely this one would make it. I had been seeing a top notch reproductive endocrinologist in Beverly Hills. I had been tested for blood clotting disorders, lupus, a variety of other autoimmune disorders, genetic work up, an HSG, everything under the sun….or so I thought… Again after picture perfect numbers we had slow heartbeat and I lost this pregnancy around 6 weeks.

I was furious, I copiously did research and studied my body. Patterns. Every month I would get low grade fever, dizziness, exhaustion (think flu or early pregnancy tired), brain fog, migraines during my cycle. Repeat process. Every. Damn Month. I also had a poor immune system. If someone had something I’d get it. The past two years hell with my health. I relayed this info to my RE and he said “ahh that’s normal, can happen”.I had to force him to test me for a MTHFR mutation (turns out I do, this will be talked about later) No this is not normal. I was chatting with a gal in my yoga class and she told me about her symptoms, sounded way close to what I was going through. I did more research and found an ND. While waiting for those results I kept flashing back to a summer a few years back. I had just gotten back from a run in the park by our old place. I jumped in the shower and saw a tick, I dont remember how I pulled it off, I’ve wracked my brains..

SO WHY SHARE ALL THIS??

Well #1 Awareness. Lyme disease is so under reported and un treated. This could have been so easily taken care of right away. I never had a bulleye rash but certainly it is possible that I had a sickness shortly. after. I can’t tell you how many viles of blood I’ve had taken over the years (I’m talking rivaling True Blood and Walking Dead amounts) and no one tested for lyme. This disease has taken FOUR babies from us and I now have to have my two year old miracle tested for this aweful aweful disease.

#2 I think being nothing but you’re authentic self does not only yourself a dis-service. That and just putting out a cookie cutter tv version of your life causes others to feel inadequate.

#3 Hope.  Some day I can show that this is beatable.

So join me as I flow through this fight………..044

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14 thoughts on “Not what we expected…..

  1. Sharing your story to raise awareness is so important. Many thoughts and prayers as you continue your journey. ((hugs))

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  2. Thank you for being brave enough to share what has to be such a deeply anguishing retelling. And thank you bringing awareness to what is a perplexing disease that behaves so differently from person to person. May you be well on your way to healing both emotionally and physically.

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  3. Big hugs to Val! You really are amazing and we will be praying for you and your family to get through this. If you ever need to chat you know where to find me!

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  4. Thanks for sharing Valerie! I just may be on this journey with you. I will know more soon…Thinking of you a lot and praying the treatments will work. Let me know when you are in San Diego. I would love to have lunch.

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  5. Valerie I came upon your blog through a mutual friend, Lynn S, here in Mass. My youngest daughter Haleigh also has Lyme. She is 11 yrs old. She was diagnosed at 9 yrs old. We were fortunate that her diagnosis was very swift. We are so thankful that her pediatrician added a Lyme test to that initial battery of testing. After weeks of antibiotic treatment she slowly started to improve. Fast forward to present day, she is doing great. I hope that your recovery is swift and that you have found some Lyme literate doctors to work with.

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  6. Very brave of you to share your story. It is important to get the word out there; Lyme disease is so much more widespread than commonly thought and it is very misunderstood in the medical community. Thank you for the follow at rawlsmd.com. I am passionate to share the things that I have learned on my Lyme journey and look forward to continuing to sharing insights with you as we both progress forward. All the best to you!

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